thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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