nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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