he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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