her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
