I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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