I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize