Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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