operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize