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I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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