How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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