Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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