Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
