Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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