Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
