Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
