did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize