I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
