i barfeds in our rink
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
