Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
