I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
