Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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