I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
