so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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