u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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