you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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