Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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