i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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