Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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