i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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