This is not my ceiling
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize