I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
