you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize