dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
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