TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
