I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
