Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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