And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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