I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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