New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
