I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
