I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize