Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
