it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
