I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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