can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
