And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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