would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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