I cockslap morals
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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