wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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