How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
