matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
