fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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