so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This toilet bowl is my home.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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