So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
