Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize