I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
