Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
