U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize