HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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