Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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