dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
