He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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