this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
