we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
