if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
