We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
