Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
