So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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