You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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