dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
