I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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