Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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