just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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