How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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