i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Randomize
